Ms. S, Gets Ready To Fly!
[Questioner] It's Ms.S2 here, D's wife. Thanks for the thought provoking (for me)evening, and another chance to question myself! I've been thinking further.What I think I was trying to clarify for myself on Monday night, was this.
It's like had I just got to a point of feeling some level of acceptance about how things are and where I'm at (whether I'm pursuing learning to draw and paint is probably irrelevant), then all of a sudden what you said started to blow that idea to pieces, as far as I took it.It was as if just when I was beginning to feel a sort of "togetherness" about myself, someone was saying "look again sunshine"!
[Oshana] Well, I wasn't saying that you should or shouldn't do something specific. But I probably did encourage you to look atLife in a radical way.
[Questioner] Since I spoke to you, and the following day, I felt on the one hand peaceful and on the other hand kind of empty. Empty in the sense of "easy come easy go" - rather than "down". Or perhaps it was a kind of "down" because it seemed to be that there is a whole lot of "efforting" going on all around me (at work, in shops, with all areas of life) for no particular reason. A kind of unnecessary "busying around" to do things, make things, get things and make things happen. I was walking around, seeing stuff, and thinking what's the point in getting excited about anything. Or even interested.
[Oshana] Well, that's largely true, anyway of many areas of life - especially shopping catalogues - well at least for me.
[Questioner] If it's all an illusion, and just the fabrication of our ideas and values, why take any of it seriously. Even what enjoy. It's only an idea I've got.That was what was puzzling me. Like what's the point of any of it.
[Oshana] There is no point except to have fun. Fun takes care of itself. When you don't try - then you can really have fun.
[Questioner] I can rationalise that I shouldn't get so deep in my thoughts, and that the point is to do what feels right. But even if I shelve my mind and move from a higher motivation, I start to imagine that I mayas well just float through air and "feel". Or I may as well disappear in a puff of smoke.
[Oshana] And what's the issue with disappearing?
[Questioner] I ask myself, why don't we all just be the middle bunch of people who get on with life and are happy and not seeking yet.(that bunch you mentioned).I think I was there, with them, before. Before I started to get inquisitive about this other stuff.
[Oshana] You smelt the fresh air at the end of the tunnel and went for a look because you were getting fed up with stale air?
[Questioner] Now I'm questioning.
Why? Because it seems like, if I just get on with it, with self awareness, that I am still missing out on something. That's what I seem to be believing from going to talks such as yours. And I'll be back again, rather than return to my "comfort zone", because I still think there's something Imust be missing out on. I like having my thinking challenged because it normally enhances my experience of life through some new level of understanding.
[Oshana] If you do everything with awareness your thinking will be challenged by Awareness.
[Questioner] It's just before, I was happy to drop in on the talks, and still get on with life. I am still getting on with life, but I'm going through a phase where it doesn't seem to make sense any more. It's like I had a plan of how it all is, and now I'm questioning it -again. Any thoughts?
[Oshana] Christmas Cracker Thought: Plans are made to be broken.
[Source: Oshana Mailing List]