Understanding and Beliefs Will Not Stop Suffering
SELF-FIX before awakening?
[Stephen] Dear Oshana...
What I was trying to get to is that I'm aware of all of this negativity in my mind, and that for the most part I seem to BELIEVE it even though I understand that some of it may not be true. Yet I see that out of this I isolate myself and make myself miserable. And I also believe that as long as I continue following the negative thoughts I have no chance of awakening.
[Oshana] Understanding and beliefs does not make the quantum leap in consciousness that you require to be free of suffering. Seeing and knowing at a sort of 'gut-level' will make that required leap.
[Stephen] So there is this sense of a long, arduous (many lifetimes!) process of slowly disconnecting from one's mind ... or else psychotherapy to "work it out"... before awakening becomes a possiblity. And I know you can never get to the bottom of it in psychotherapy... ie.. the idea of SELF-FIX before being ready for IT.
[Oshana] Sounds like an attempt to escape from the mind which is a common pursuit on and off the spiritual circuit. The mind is here to stay.
[Stephen] At the same time my "mind" knows (from what I've read and heard) that the truth of all of what I've written above hangs on who I think I AM... and when that changes... POOF! the dream disappears. But that doesn't appear to be happening... and so this seems to be more a theoretical idea I've gotten rather than the truth of what I believe within...
[Oshana] The mind does not know in advance what is going to happen. It's not who you "think" you are but who you *deeply feel* you are
[Stephen] So there's all this mental activity seeing my negative tendencies ... watching it... evaluating it... holding it up to the light of what I've learned from reading and from teachers ... trying not to identify with it ... WHEW!!!!
[Oshana] Sounds like the mire...
[Stephen] My question is.... as long it (awakening) isn't apparently happening (that is, before we meet and sit down to our jasmine tea and crackers!!)....
[Oshana] The real question is "What are you waiting for?". In a sense I indirectly and implicitly, because of typical English reserve, asked the same question of Vicky, and I now ask you directly because that is what is required here.
[Stephen] ... how is it best to deal with the negativity and self-made???? misery ... all the inner-gook that goes with identification with this "limited" being...
[Oshana] That is not my chosen field of specialisation. My area of expertise is getting people Awakened. Sometimes, when I connect to someone, such matters are resolved. That resolution probably happens because they are Waking Up. So Awakening is the Total Solution.
[Stephen] ...and how to pursue awakening in the midst of all these mental trips about that negativity...????
[Oshana] You don't pursue it. It pursues you on the inside. On the outside, I pursue you - I invite you to meet me. It has happened during such meetings that these "mental trips" disappear, as you may have noted in Narayan's post: "An awakened state that needs no 'Me' " http://groups.yahoo.com/group/oshana/message/91
Best wishes, Stephen
I wish the very best in your search.
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