"E" had sent 4 or 5 emails to The Oshana Office. He had joined Enlightenment-Potentials and wanted to ask Oshana some questions by phone.
Directed by The Energy, Oshana felt moved by The Energy to phone "E".
Oshana had only spoken a few powerful sentences when "E" started to have very dramatic, and unexpected, experiences.
Frequent students of oshana.org will have read similar accounts from first-time enquirers.
I've read about transmissions, but I never imagined it to be like that. It was incredible!
I'm absolutely amazed, I almost broke down in tears. I can't even imagine what it would be like meeting you in person.
I just don't understand how is it that this Illusion bottles up energy. I can see it does but I don't know how.
I know I've gotten to the point of comprehending how is it that my brain interprets energy. Because when I became aware that this division between me and the rest of the world was totally false, I realized that I had stared all my life to a flat image, with no depth at all. As if pure consciousness or matter - that of which everything is made - had divided itself and created this false illusion of self: an independent person.
But I am thinking that this division in consciousness is really somehow squeezing energy and not letting it flow in its natural rhythm. I don't know, I'm just guessing......God I really hate this damn mutation!
You know I have a particular view on how to reach Enlightenment which I feel I should follow to get there because it's the only way I know and it's through study and self-discovery. The only reason why I plan to study at Naropa (or to study at all) is because I feel I must do something to get enlightened, and then through the years I would find a teacher that would liberate me. I suppose that's the way you did it, and I would guess that's the way most of the people who are truly enlightened did it. So I guess that this is the way I will have to do it.
I am not at all concerned with having a career; I am not concerned with having any type of relationship with anyone - not girlfriends, not friends, not even family ( at least not with attachment). I am prepared to leave everything behind, in fact I will leave it all behind....I just don't care, all I want is what you have Oshana, I want what you have so much, but I don't just want it for a while, I want it permanently. I don't care if it hurts, I can tolerate the pain. I don't think the unsatisfaction and sorrow that I feel now can be worse than the pain I will have to bear when becoming or while becoming or after becoming enlightened.
Even if you say, like many others have said, that this process of self-discovery and study is not necessary, what am I to do? I have to begin to find and end. I really don't know what else to say, except to let you know that I would surely like to meet you personally, because there is nothing else in this world that I would most desire to do than be with you for at least a day.......Thank you so much!
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